New town New People

Keiji and I made it to a small quiet town called Newfort. This town makes me think of the small village I was to help. I feel uneasy here and wish to move on. However that is not the way of Torm. He would never back down if he was faced with an army greater in number than his own! He would stand and fight! I will help these people and aid them to make their lives better! Keiji says he wants to show people the way of love, sounds like a Slune cleric in a way. I wonder how he plans on showing these ex-warriors and mercenaries how to love? This should be entertaining at least. Torm lend me your Strength.

We came upon a billboard with a notice for work. We have been running low on funds; even though Keiji insists that we will get by on the power of “love” alone. I on the other hand would like a dry bed for once or a somewhat hot meal. I cannot help others if I myself catch death. So we agreed to help this Elia of the Mask with her task. When we went to the house we were to meet this person and her benefactor. We were met by a small group of odd people. First there wasElia of the Mask. She is a fine young elf. I take it she will be the head of this job. However I question her judgment as she has brought a child into this! The child calls herself Serenity Tamaraith; she can’t be more than 14 winters if that! She is full of wanderlust that I fear will get her into some terrible trouble one day soon. She however states she is part of the Lady’s College of Mages. I wonder how she ever got permission to leave! The child has with her a strange being that she calls Fretter (I was told by it that his name is Bale.) I am not sure of that creature he is neither Pixie nor full Imp. However I have no ability to judge with the amount of blood on my hands. This brings us to the most despicable member. Elia actually had the mind to hire a demon kin! A damned Tiefling! However he has antlers were his horns should be, but that does not matter he is still a product of an evil deity and reeks of foulness. I can’t stand to be near that creature of hell! If he makes one wrong move I will smite him in Torms good name! I know I may not be better than he in the way I ended those lives of the town, however I can achieve atonement for I am not a product of evil! However he has managed to befriend a goodly creature a Pixie. Her name is Demi; she is sweet if not short on the attention span. She is most pretty and flies wonderfully. She talks incredibly fast and never stops moving.

We all went to talk to Mr.Stonebrach, the patron for the job we are to-do. I fallowed Keiji and the others to the house, and listened intently on our mission. Serenity wouldn’t stop talking long enough for Mr.Stonebrace to say very much, and Belial (the despicable demon kin) kept thinking himself the leader! Just to show you demons always think they are in charge! Elia just let you have the damned map because you’re a supposable ranger so you know the land! Sorry I can’t help myself tieflings just rub me the wrong way! Mr.Stonebrace asked us to help clear out a mine he had bought a bit ago, and to find his missing crew. That’s when I found out why Torm led me to this place, to help those poor people in the mine! They must be sick, starving, or worse! Yes I will help them and in such save myself!

As I was lost in my stewing thought I noticed that everyone had moved into a smaller room with a large object in it. Mr.Stonebrace humored the child from the College and asked for her help with a word puzzle. She even figured it out! However she has much to learn about magic. She just yells out the power words to the puzzle without thinking of what could happen. The lid came flying off that box and this huge man in armor came out of it! He and the young one talked about the ancient Netherese for a short bit. He seemed a bit upset that he was no longer in the time of the great Nethril, I felt almost sorry for him. He then took leave as he walked outside into the town.

We all went to the tavern after that to get a good night’s rest before going to the mine. I did notice that Serenity choose to eat her meal in the room, I decided to fallow to keep watch of the girl and took my meal upstairs as well. However Serenity ate food she had packed in her own bag and not the great warm stew that the inn had made. She has a lot to learn of traveling if she will not eat from the inn. You cannot always bring enough food to feed thy self in one’s own bag. She and Elia decided to put a magic alarm on the door. I agreed since there was an infernal creature staying in the room next to use and I will not let him defile the young one! I just hope my own taint will not harm this child. She reminds me so of my pupil.
Keiji and Belial along with the Pixie stayed at the bar and drank a lot. There went any profit to live on for the next fort night. Keiji can, I found out, drink a lot of ale. That ends today, we will see how the next day fairs.

An Unintended partnership
I have been traveling the realm doing what Torm set me to-do. I set bones that are broken, patch up warriors that found new ways to make holes in themselves, and aid the sick. That is when I was approached by a strange loud man and his pet monkey. The thing was quite adorable and so sweet, and the man was nice as well. He asked me if I was traveling with anyone, I told him my mission gives me no traveling partners and was about to leave when he kept fallowing me. I at first thought he was sizing me up to rob me. However a female of my stature and in full polished plate and an Aasimar of Torm, that would be stupid and he did not look stupid. So I turned and asked if I could help him, if he was sick or in need of aid. He stated that he just happened to be going in the same direction as myself and that maybe we could travel together. I agreed however I am concerned that if he ever found out about what I have done that he will no longer want to be traveling with me. I decided to keep myself in reserve around him and his monkey pet. He has an odd name Keiji Maeda and his pets name is difficult as well, Yumekichi I call him Yume for ease. Torm give me strength, as to not ruin this good soul. I fear that I will fail this person as well. I can never forgive myself for the pain I brought on my last partner. I will strive to be better and let him lead this time. Yes I will not force him to fallow my lead as I did with my pupil. This time will be different it will turn out better!

Newfort looked neither new (all new things are shiny, after all), or much like a Fort. I would describe how it looked exactly, but my memory is bad, and my mental image of the place was only further pushed to the background of my thoughts when Bel and I were introduced to a WHOLE BUNCH of people.

There was a lady named Elia who seemed to be the one leading the group of adventurers. There was another lady with pretty steel colored hair who was very quiet. Being someone who is easily distracted by lots of commotion, I sort of appreciated her stoicism. She reminded me of the forest. Another who seemed to be travelling with her was a tall man with a super big sword that made my arms ache just thinking of trying to pick it up, and upon his brightly clothed shoulder was a small furry pixie. Later I was informed that this particular species of tiny fae is called a monkey. It didn’t talk much, and I began to wonder if it actually could, as it seemed to communicate mostly with dramatic hand gestures! The more I studied it, the more I found I was beginning to understand its language.

I was so entranced by the furry thing called ‘monkey’ that I couldn’t properly defend myself when a blonde lady plucked me right out of the air! Now, if there is one thing that anyone in the existence of ever should know about my kind it’s that we do NOT LIKE BEING MAN-HANDLED! Or in this case, woman-handled. I had half a mind to poke her in the eye with a sleep arrow, but the other half of my mind was doing something it rarely does: making me think about the moral ramifications of poking her in the eye, as well as the possibility of missing and having the lady, who was infinitely larger than myself (as everyone is) become very angry. Fearing for my tiny, squishy self, I yelled at her. That is until she revealed a hottie in a box!

Let it be known that I have a thing for artistic men. So when suddenly before my eyes the blonde woman, who later introduced herself as Serenity, revealed another pixie who happened to be wielding a paint brush, I stopped yelling and starting gawking. A million and one flirtatious lines filled my head at once and left me utterly speechless. When I saw that he’s a pixie, I mean only sort of a pixie. He’s something else too, called an ‘imp’. But racial backgrounds were irrelevant to me at that point! As far as I was concerned, I wanted this half-pixie, this Bale, to paint on MY canvas.

And then just like that, he was shut away in a small box! I felt both heart broken and offended. Where did he go!? Why did he leave!? Why the HELL was this blonde woman keeping him prisoner in a box!? I was about to express my anger when the man we had come their to meet directed Serenity’s attention to the biggest, shiniest, most interesting looking box I had ever seen! It was mostly wooden, but what wasn’t wooden was polished and shiny and my mind almost burst thinking of what must be in such a wondrous container! It had my immediate attention and I flew over.

As it happened, the shiny bits were engravings, a foreign tongue of which I held no recognition. While the blonde and the old man pondered over a piece of paper with some gibberish on it, I rapped upon the box. I tried to give it a little shake to possible hear the rattle of the treasures that were surely inside. I couldn’t budge it. I saw no lock to pick, so that was out. IN fact, the thing looked just about seamless- but surely, it had to open, right? I flew around it and saw no hinges, nothing at all that made it similar to a normal chest. And then it occurred to me- it HAD to be a magic chest, which meant it must hold something AMAZING! As I drooled, Serenity deciphered the script on the paper and the lid sprang forth from the box with amazing force, nearly hitting me. Startled I flew next to the rest of the group, and eagerly peeked from behind the safety of Bel, wondering what was inside!

And then a man made of metal came out of the box.

I hovered there a moment longer behind Bel, stunned, staring at the man-shaped giant of metal. What…the…HELL!? Everyone seemed SOOOOOOO fascinated by it. ‘Oh look, it even talks!’, and ‘Oh look, it’s armed!’ and ‘Oh look, it’s asking about extinct overlords!‘, and BLAH BLAH BLAH, and the WHOLE time all I was thinking was where the HELL is the shiny stuff?! The stuff we broke the seal for?! Where was it!? Flying passed the mental man who I had written off as just another giant humanoid, I peered into the box. Empty. All of the wondrous possibilities were gone, ruined. It was like the day Steeve told me that the pixie God-mom-pa of shiny-stuff-giving didn’t really exist, was something I made up in my head, and clearly just an excuse to take his things without asking! Which I would never do, and Steeve is a dick! But anyways, it was just like that! The integrity of the box, the mysterious allure, the promise of untold magical riches had been ruined! We had all been duped, and I was the only one who knew it!

Feeling abused and upset, I realized that whoever had set this up and put the poor metal man in there to trick us must have hid the original goods somewhere around the room! I began to look, scanning the shelves, convinced that no silly-minded giant people’s would trick me- I was far to clever! I thought I saw something gleaming on the shelf and I turned to see if everyone else saw what I saw, only to spot the tail-end of Bel walking out the door. They were leaving! I took one last look at the shiny trinket before rushing out after all of them.

Demi and I continued on the road to Newfort. It wasn’t too far from where I had rescued her and the scumble kicked in quickly, so I didn’t have time to start wanting to shoot her/myself. Hell, I don’t even remember most of the trip there.

We met up with the group in town. There was some pretty boy fighter with a miniature tailed bear monkey – actually, I’m going to pause for a moment. Why in the nine bloody hells does a fighter get an animal companion and I don’t? I’m a ranger, it’s one of our classes’ defining traits! Either way, he had a monkey and I won’t lie, I’d probably cook and eat it if we really needed to. Not everyday you get to eat a monkey. Either way, he looked fruity and kept talking about love, so I don’t want to share a bed with him.

There was also an Aasimar cleric who I could tell immediately disliked me. I put on my coolface and tried to be friendly, but stopped after she reached for her mace. Some blonde wizard with an older gentleman also joined us. Apparently the girl was a college student who was seeing the world for the first time. (line removed by DM)

Our benefactor was one Mr. Stonebrace, who had purchased a mine recently and wanted us to clear it out. He had hired some chick with a mask to accompany us up to his house. For some reason she kept talking to me like I was the head of this group. I guess my reputation either precedes me or they didn’t hear about Bearberg. Anyways, the previous group had yet to return, so they’re more than likely dead. Stonebrace also showed us this big box with some funky text on it. Blondy used her fancy magic skills and opened it.

This box… was the best box? Maybe, because it contained a giant metal bear a robot! The robot looked around and started asking about some ancient civilization and other various parts of backstory I should probably have been paying attention to, but Demy and the monkey were busy crawling around the house, presumably looking for things to steal. I’m going to talk to/eat them later, because that’s the exact sort of thing that gets us not paid. Drifting back into the railroading of the story, I found myself getting irritated at the stubbornness of the robot. I blame the programmers not giving it better AI. The robot left towards the mine, but got stopped by the guards due to it being a fucking robot. Now that I think about it, what is a robot anyways?

We headed to the tavern to get food, drink, and sleep. After immediately getting shot down by Masky, the girls minus Demi retired to their rooms after putting an alarm by the door. Keiji and I stayed up and drank a bit, though I drank more than he did. About a half an hour later, Demi showed up and fell for the classic “give the small creature booze strong enough to knock out a Barbarian” gag. She went out like a light. This ended up being for the best, as some guards came in inquiring about a thief who robbed the general store blind. We played innocent, though I was sure that the culprit was lying unconscious on the counter in a puddle of her own vomit.

Following that (and four glasses of some very potent whisky), we headed to bed. I was immediately disappointed to find that I had to share a bed with Keiji, but was elated upon hearing his grumbling too. We tossed Demi on the table and turned out the lights. Almost immediately, I was woken up to the sound of swords clanging and screams. I reached over to see if Tulip was alright, though being a Druid she should have been fine. I was greeted with a punch in the face. Yep, she was fine.

There were orcs attacking the bar, though the robot from before seemed to be making quick work of them. Almost too quick, as suddenly more orcs appeared, as if some mystical figure in the sky figured out that letting a character made for chopping up things run loose while everyone else was sleeping was a bad idea. I grabbed my bow and started taking pot shots at the orcs. Blondy was busy vomiting over the corpse of an orc while the cleric and the robot were fighting off the orcs. I continued to move into the fight, plugging orc after orc with arrows. I heard Demi join the battle, though I don’t know how effective her arrows are. I had stolen one to use as a toothpick earlier, but maybe she was stronger than she looked.

Tulip was surrounded by orcs and was felled. I yelled out to her, wondering why she chose to remain human, but was more preoccupied with not dying. After all, assuming she dies her, then I don’t have to break up with her in the morning. The robot and cleric and I finished up the rest, with the Wizzzzard actually being somewhat useful. (line removed by DM)

As the battle wound down, I somehow managed to snap my bowstring as I shot one of the orcs in the nipple. I started cursing profusely and wondered if I could buy bowstring at the store, then started cursing even louder after I remembered Demi stole all their shit. The robot then interrogated the last orc and let him go. Upon questioning, he simply stated that he promised to. I’m not happy with that (neither was Blondy), but at least he fix my bow, so I’ll let it slide.

It sounds like there are more orcs in town so looks like we need to go kill them now. Yaaaaaaaay. Oh, and it turns out that I broke up with Tulip about two months ago and I had been grabbing Keiji. I’ll be sure to tease him about it later. No homo.

The Path of Atonement:

My name is Seraphim Nostrum. However it should be evil, vile murderous Seraphim. I have done a terrible wrong and now I am on the road to atonement. I will keep this record as to show my progress on my long lonely journey I have ahead of me.

I should start at the beginning, the reason for this journey. I thought I was an expert healer, top of my class at the mission and even had honors. I am an Aasmir of the Great God Torm and such as the embodiment of his healing hand. Or at least that’s what I thought. Shortly after graduating from the mission’s healer’s course, I was sent with a pupil to help a small village. This village was a peaceful town and shown with the beauty that is the land. The poor souls had no idea that such horror was soon to come from my unworthy hand.

They all were suffering from an unknown illness that made them mad or blinded. Their symptoms were as fallows
Blindness (or complaining of constant darkness)
Weakness
Voices when none were about
Then death
With all of this I set upon the small village to help them. I thought myself more than ready for such a task and asked for no help. I came up with a potion to help alleviate and possibly cure these poor people. As I was about the head to the well and add it to the drinking water to make sure that everyone had some, my pupil ran up to me and said that the village elder was in grave condition and needed me right away. So I gave her the vial and instructed her in what to do. She was thrilled that I would allow her such honor to help me. Little did that sweet innocent girl know, I sent her on a path of murder. I reach the elder in time to save him. His case was worst of all, poor soul. I thought my job done, however I was wrong. When the town’s people started to drink the water I said would cure them all, they all started to die one right after the other. I could not work fast enough to save any of them! I killed everyone in that town. I even tainted my hands with innocent young blood. When I made the connection my bright sweet pupil looked at me with pure horror on her face. She said I was a murderous she-devil that I had tainted her hands as well. I could not disprove this nor would I, because of my over confidence I killed a whole village of people and broke a bright student. So I prayed to Torm for guidance to help me atone for what I had done. That’s when the image of a road long traveled came to my mind with the words of My Great God in my head “Go and heal your wounds by healing the lost and suffering.” So I travel this road helping all I can and asking for nothing in return. I do not deserve anything for what I did.

While we (Yumekichi and I) were passing through a town we came across a rather well armored lady who seemed a bit quieter than she should be. Being the gentleman that I am, I offered to travel with her after striking up a small conversation with her. She doesn’t seem to talk much, though I am used to having mostly one sided conversations, I didn’t let it bother me as we traveled together. Though she isn’t trying to help people the same way that I am, our goals are close to one another, and I would feel bad about letting a woman travel alone even if she has full plate armor. It was something that Aunt Matsu drilled into me, and though I am hesitant to tell Seraphim, the woman in full plate, that I was doing it because I was concerned for her well being, it was still a major factor to my deciding to travel with her.

We had been traveling once again when we came across a bulletin board of jobs, and one caught our collective attention. There wasn’t much of a discussion between the three of us, before we headed out to the town of Newfort. Once we reached Newfort, there were many things that happened all at once and I am sorry to say that since I, embarrassingly enough, collapsed during a fight, I don’t quite remember it all. Better not too many of the ladies know about that in the future. Yumekichi met some interesting people, he seemed rather fond of the magic girl that had a box. Though, I’m sure it’s simply because she liked how soft he was…he’s a sucker for people who give him lots of attention. Don’t shake that stick at me Yumekichi, it’s rather rude…but there was an odd fellow that we started to travel with, almost every other word that seemed to leave his mouth was “bear”…such an odd man. I will reserve judgment of him until later, but he definitely cannot hold his liquor.

I had to share a bed with the tailed one, after we “accidently” got the pixie drunk, she obviously can’t hold her liquor either. Though as soon as we managed to get the tiny girl to hold still long enough to take the drink and pass out that some guards came in asking about a robbery. I can understand sometimes needing to steal from others, especially if they are bad folk, but just stealing from a store while the shopkeeper is sleeping, that is just bad form. I hope that they can find the ruffian that did that soon.

I was awoken by crashing noises, and the clang of steel. Rolling out of bed I instinctively grabbed my sword and started to put my armor on when…Belial? I believe that was his name, suddenly yelled “TULIP” and tackled me to the ground. Now, I’m a friendly fellow, but I do not enjoy being fondled by drunk men, never mind the fact that this is a antlered, demonic looking man. The only thing I could do as a self respecting man was to of course deck him in the face, which I’m a bit embarrassed to say, that I enjoyed. The rest of what happened was rather quick and successive. I faintly recall seeing the magic girl puking over the dead body of one of the orcs and going to fight a few of those that I could see. Going into battle without my armor was a foolish thing and it was proven as such when I was knocked down by two of the orcs. Just as my consciousness was leaving me, I do recall hearing that horrible voice crying out for “Tulip” once more. My last words, and thought was, “I’m not Tulip” before giving in to the blackness. I will probably curse that name for awhile yet to come, and will certainly not be drinking with Belial for about as long.

After a number of years training under my adoptive uncle and aunt, I decided there must be more to life than fighting. There has to be something to make one want to fight, to make it interesting, something like a boom or such. It was during a…let’s go with trip, yes, a trip to the main town near where I was raised that I came across a great festival. There were so many people smiling and having fun that it made me start to question how I was living. I made a number of “trips” back to the city when I probably really shouldn’t have, and came to find my new calling. I was on a mission to help everyone find LOVE!! Really, who can say that they like to come home to a quiet house, with no one there? I certainly can not, and think of how many lives could be saved if everyone loved? There would certainly be less of those distasteful wars where so many lives are lost that need not be.

Now, this new thought of how to live life to the fullest of course wasn’t seen by the army that I was currently working for, which in truth was a number that I couldn’t really remember, nor by my family as a wise decision. Now, I had gotten the title “Vagabond” even before I was truly a man, so why does it seem like such a huge thing to them? I certainly wasn’t kidnapped as that one poster my aunt obviously but up said, nor was I abducted with by some greater power…unless they were talking about the power of love! Now instead of keeping mostly to the area that I knew, I started to drift farther from home than I had ever done. Letting the rumors of things needing help and the wind to take me places I hadn’t even heard of. With my faithful companion Yumekichi, we were off to see what we could fix of the world and to bring people closer to love.

I can remember how hard my little heart was pounding the day I finally flew beyond my horizon of treetops to start my adventure. Before me a brilliant landscape of rolling hills was splayed out, just waiting to be explored. But in all of my weeks of planning, packing, and procuring additional necessities from nearby resources (cough Steve cough), there was one thing I realized then that I hadn’t planned for- where was I going to go?

Every inch of the landscape looked all fascinating and new, but I couldn’t just run off somewhere! I am terribly easy to distract, and knew that if I didn’t pick some goal, some destination, I might never ever get back to my home, and could end up in a very sticky situation! Just as I was thinking about this giant dilemma, a caravan of travelers happened by my location of pondering. I noticed something shiny gleaming in the back of their wagon, and suddenly not having a goal or a chosen path or any sort of plan didn’t matter anymore and I decided to follow them.

The shiny thing ended up being just a regular old dagger, except made for huge people, unlike myself. So it was really of no use to me. They left plenty of other things in the carriage for me to look through, but none of it really looked that great. I made sure to check for those shiny golden discs I observed people giving away to roadside vendors during my long days in the forest. Turlang explained to me that it was a trade system- shiny gold disks for things you need. Personally I think they all got ripped off. Why would anyone trade something so nice and sparkly for such mundane, un-shiny stuff? But back to my point, these people didn’t have the golden trade disks. Just stuff. And it all looked sooooo boring. Deciding there that I could be doing something far more interesting I slipped off at the next stop.

That was a mistake.

Ahead I could see the outskirts of what looked like Turlang’s description of a ‘town’, or ‘city’. To the right of the road was a ‘farm’. Even closer to me was some sort of large, feathered thing. It looked vaguely similar to a bird, like we have in the forest, except it was huge! And it looked like something had pulled on the poor things head to hard, because it had a neck that could make some saplings jealous! I was terribly curious about this creature, so I flew directly in front of it.
“HI!” I waved enthusiastically, “I Demi-” And that was about all I could spit out before I felt the hard, iron beak of fate clamp down upon my tiny hand. In hindsight, I will say that the beady-eyed creature had surprisingly accurate aim.

So there I was, screaming and flailing while this terrible foul beasty tried to eat me! I never really contemplated the possibility of becoming dinner, and I wasn’t liking my prospects. Suddenly in that moment I really really missed the forest, all of its damn trees, Turlang, and dare I say it- Steve, because at least they didn’t try to devour people they didn’t even know! My flailing proving fruitless, I was sure the end was nigh, when abruptly, a miracle happened! And that miracle is a deer named Bel!

Now when I say he’s a deer, I don’t really mean he’s a dear, as he only shares one resemblance with the creatures I once shared my space with, and those were the giant antlers protruding from his skull. Otherwise, he looked more like a lizard! Red skin and a long tail to boat. Anyways, he gave the feathered monstrosity a good punt to the belly. As it squawked in surprise and what I hoped was agony, it released me, and I was soon grabbed by deer-lizard man.

“Thank you!” I gasped, terribly shaken up by the encounter and quite grateful that I had made it out alive! “Who are you? I’m Demitria Deirdre Signy, but you can call me Demi! I came from the forest, did you come from a forest?” It was only at that point that I actually noticed that the red man had antlers. “Oh my gosh, you have horns!? Why do you have horns? Are you a deer?” I asked excitedly, flying upwards to examine them further. “Oh man, these are great! Say are you going on an adventure? Cuz I’m going on and adventure, and I don’t want to run into anything else like that-hey! Can I go with you? Can I ride your horns! C’mon, let’s go, wheeeeee!”

The red man took a heavy swig of something smelly, and told me his name was Belial. I call him ‘Bel’. It seems to suit him! I will never forget the day I was saved by Bel. Especially since it the marked the beginning of the several other dangerous, bizarre, and exciting encounters I would face.

Newfort:

Well we made it to Newfort! Elia was slightly upset that it took us so long to get there, but we made it in one piece! She didn’t even have to walk for most of the way to Newfort. When we entered town we met up with Stauvin Stonebrace. There was also a Tiefling (demon kin) that states he is some type of Ranger (I think he has a thing for bears), I can’t seem to remember his name. That one had a small fairy type creature with him. I am not sure why she has taken such a liking to him. She is very cute and seems like she would make a great match for the brooding Bale. Her name is Demitira. With that we come to two mercenaries that showed up as soon as we did to take this job. One is a “flamboyant” Fighter type that has a huge sword. (Must be compensating). I can’t seem to remember his name either, maybe I should write it down when next we speak. On his shoulder (this seems to be a running thing with guys out here in the wilds) was the cutest little monkey ever! Its fur was soft and it fits in the palm of your hand. This leads us to the last person being a spell bagger. She is quiet and withdrawn, which is odd for a priest of Torm. The ones I have seen in Silverymoon are loud and annoying with their boasting of all they do “In their God’s name”. That one’s name is Seraphim.

Mr.Stonebrace states that he bought a nearby mine and that the first group that he sent in has yet to emerge from the location. So we are here to help this man find his lost people. Mr.Stonebrace saw that I was a mage of The Great College of the Lady and asked me to take a look at something for him. I thought “Yes! This is my time to show everyone here how smart I am!” I was led to a room with a sarcophagus that was almost golden in material and with writing that I have never seen before. When I cast a spell that was suppose to help me read any language it must have failed because there was way to discern what the writing said. Stonebrace gave me a paper that his “Workers” had started to decipher the writing and they did do a good job. It took me not at all long to understand this new language, however what I found out made me scared and excited at the same time. It was old Netherese! Can you believe it, real Netherese relic! When I said what the words meant “_Descend upon the wicked and deliver the wrath of Nethril_.”

(This is how the writing looked when I got to it.
DSCD UPTWCKD AD DLVR T WRAT F TRL. )

Anyway when I spoke the words the lid flew open and this monstrous thing came out of it.

Now I should take a side note here and explain that the Nethril are a very old, very dead civilization that stood on the panicle of magic. They ruled their floating land moats with an iron fist most likely made from one spell or another. The high ranking “officials” of Nethril were all thought to be very high wizards of some sort. (Wouldn’t Serianos be happy that I paid attention to all this!). So even with their epic magic they still made mistakes. The biggest being that one mage that decided to try and become the “New God” of magic. This failed horribly and The Old Mystra had to sacrifice himself to save the weave. Not only that but when he died then magic failed around the realm and the land moats came crashing down to the ground and a lot of people died. Now the new Mystra restricts epic magic to save the entire realm from this stupid choice.

So with that, this thing that the Netherese had made comes out of this sarcophagus and it stands so tall I had to crane my neck to see its face. I am not sure what it is. It could be a person held in stasis until the right words were said, or it could be a construct, or a metal golem of some sort. All I now is it has its own mind and thoughts. However it had no Idea that all the Nethril was dead and gone. (Except the shade that hovers over the land, they are not a trusted people.) When I stated that his old ruler was no longer I think he was more than a bit confused. Mind you I would be too, if I all of a sudden I got woken up from a thousand years of sleep and was told Lady Alustriel was no longer alive. With that he took his leave right out the door.

With that we all excused ourselves from Mr.Stonebrace. We went to the tavern that had rooms that were paid for us. Now I know that not all towns are like Silverymoon in the fact that they are clean and neat. However I refuse to eat where I can tell vermin run. So I took my dinner up in my room from my pack. I had to share a room with Elia and the Seraphim. I think the Pixie was to bed with us as well but she never made it to our room. I did put an alarm spell on the door and it was habit to make it a mental alarm. At school we had to or our instructors would yell even louder than the alarm about the “proper” use of such magic. However I quickly learned that not everyone is understanding of great power and insists on Knocking on the door not the frame! Even after I explained this to the simple people they still knocked on the damned door! So sleep will not great to night due to the headache I have every time the alarm would go off. Tomorrow we all set out to rescue the simpletons from the mine. I thought I was here for Orcs.

I proceeded towards Newfort, where my Ranger expertise had been requested. From what I know of the area, there are relatively few bears in the area, a welcome fact given recent events. For example- This morning I woke up to find a massive pile of feces covering my file and my rations had all been stolen. The large tracks led back to the town I have christened Bearberg, leading me to believe that the bears I enraged are potentially sentient and very bitter.

Of course, it may just be my druid ex-girlfriend fucking with me, but no one’s that vengeful, right?

I continued along the path, moving quickly to avoid any trouble. I ran by several different groups, each looking like they were on some quest to defeat the evil in the land. The group contained nothing but clerics, each of them looking at me as if I had personally used their religious symbols as toilet paper.

“Sorry sisters, I’m afraid I’m can’t accompany you on your sure to be epic quest. I’ve got to go meet up with my own group. But here’s my card if you ever need a good time a ranger.”

“SMITE THE DEMON”

Did I ever mention how I really dislike clerics? A quick casting of darkness was all I needed to escape the overzealous nutjobs.

About noon I ran into some giant crustacean while getting some water at a lake. It seemed harmless enough, but it was very persistent in following me. I handled the situation very calmly and rationally.

“WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS DO YOU WANT!?”
…
…
…
“I need about tree fiddy.”

After eating crab for lunch, I spent some time in the area hunting some game for the final leg of the trip. After accidentally blowing up some birds with my Thundering Bow, I came across a goose fighting with what appeared to be some sort of small insectile mutation. Upon further inspection I concluded that it was a pixie and not an unfortunate mad wizard that somehow mutated himself into a fly.

“Goosegoosegoosegoosegoose!” the little pixie squeaked as it tried to fly away from the feathered menace. I walked over, grabbed the pixie by the wings, and punted the goose into a tree. If a goose hits a tree in a forest and no one other than a hungry tiefling and the pixie it just tried to eat in a forest, does it stand a chance? (Correct answer: It does not)

“Lemme go!” The pixie continued to squeak angrily at me as I lifted it up to look it in the eyes. She was kinda cute, if you’re into the whole monster-girl thing. I obliged after making sure she wasn’t armed with anything that could do any real damage to me. “Thank you! Who are you? I’m Demitria Deirdre Signy and I came from the forest are you going on an adventure can I come why do you have horns oh my god can I ride your horns WHEEEEEE”

I took out the special bottle of scumble I keep in my bag and took a giant swig, unbalancing the pixie who had been using my horns as her own personal playset. This was going to be a long trip.