Protectors of the Silver Marches

Logs of the warforged 3

I will never understand mortals, after freeing the orc and getting back to work it wasn’t long until I hear a scream. It was clearly the mage and so I set off to insure my trip to the mines didnt get interrupted further. when I arrived to help I was greeted by the sight of the demon killing the half breed shop keep and shooting at the cleric. Why the humans continue to work with him is beyond my comprehension. after forcing him to drop his weapon I got the full story from the others apparently the shop keeper had attacked the mage. I had warned her about the magic she was playing with but the fact that she was currently glowing with blue flame tells me she didn’t listen. I predict many such attacks in her future. with matter apparently settled I head back to the shop to collect my belongings and complete the repairs I had started. upon arriveing the door was locked after failing to pick the lock I simply broke the door off the hinges and repaired it good as new. while finishing up in the store I noticed a rope starting to disappear (clearly the pixie trying to steal) after informing her that I knew she was there she appeared and told me she was colleting gear for the mage and cleric that has already been paid for even showing me a receipt. I saw no problem with this and let her continue after she finished we head back to the party and set out (finally) for the mine.

Censored for Reader Sanity

The drawbridge I lowered revealed a fort courtyard full or orcs, dead-but-still walking-what-the-hell-orcs, and then there was something I had never seen before- the giant-est giant of all giants who have ever been giants!

I should make a note here that while I refer to my party members as giants, Turlang once told me that the big people aren’t REALLY giants, just significantly larger than myself. But this guy…I was convinced, he was a giant. My team mates all shouter ‘ogre’, but I’m going to see giant, because this bastard was literally the biggest guy I had ever seen and made my giant party members look like pixies. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it is very rare that others get to feel as small as me. And this guy could have used me as a pick for his rotting, undead finger nails. Oh yeah, I probably should have mentioned he was a damn zombie!

The next few events I am going to censor, and make as brief as possible. Not because I am trying to skim through important plot point, or because I wasn’t paying attention (believe me, it was hard NOT to notice what Bell got himself into here (literally!)), but because it was hard enough just to watch, and I fear that recounting the incident in detail might make me sick again. So, there was this banana peal. There was the big, fuck-off zombie ogre. And then there was Bel. The red man charged the ogre, and I’m sure it would have been beautiful, but Bel’s foot found the peel. Now imagine there as a door and there is this bird that looses control in the wind and fly’s through the door…except now imagine that the door is really the ogre’s anus, the wind is actually the banana peel and the bird isn’t actually a bird but a tiefling named Belial Lucksbane, and his head is lodged into between two rotting ass-cheeks, and he can’t get out. And I bet you also just imagined that this story couldn’t possibly get more disgusting! If you thought that just now, you are wrong. Because Bel DID get himself out of the ogres ass…eventually…via vomiting and then setting the ogres testicles on fire.

At this point, I could NOT see any more. I did my best to contain what I myself had eaten and began shooting the jerks that were flinging long, pointed sticks at my team mates. Of course, I myself was not fired at because I was invisible, as per usual, which put me at a sensational advantage. Just like the days back in the woods, before Steeve came to recognize my antics, when he was chased from his home by “poltergeists” carrying his gardening shears. Good times. Oh! Or when he started to go crazy, hearing voices telling him to go tickle the badgers stomach! Ah……oh! Sorry! Got side tracked! Where was I? Oh right, fighting!

We continued to battle the hordes of monstrosities. I had to toss Belial a health potion at one point. I suppose being red and ridiculous looking makes him a bit of an easy target.

It was around this time that the rest of the party showed up, finished with their task! There was ‘Notfor’, the metal man, and Serenity, the blonde shiny fun magic used, and I was immensely happy to see both of them!

Together we finished off the remaining attackers. But our job was far from finished. We now have a city to help repair, or in my case, spoils to find!

Part 2, “Shiny things Abound!”

If you’ve been keeping up with my gibbering all this time…well first of, thanks! People usually cut me off before long, or start to tune me out! If I wasn’t so attached to them, I’d give you a shiny medal! Um…where was I? Oh yeah! Shiny things! There were a lot of them around, and I’m sure everyone following has noticed that I really like shiny, glittering, beautiful things!

I began to look for anything I could find glimmering in the sun. That was until Serenity stopped me, right as I was about to take a nicely polished looking thing off one of the towns’ metal men. She told me that I shouldn’t take the items of the mean with that funny symbol on their shields.
“Why? They are dead, aren’t they?” I asked her.
“Well, yes, but they may have families, and those things will go to their families!” She explained. I still didn’t understand. They couldn’t ALL have families, and besides, if they didn’t know they had the things in the first place they wouldn’t be missed! That was when she gave me a gold disc. With a heavy sigh I reluctantly agreed and moved on to search the attackers.

I didn’t get nearly as good of a haul as I hoped for. But there had to be something else! Something more! I flew up high to see if I had missed anything…I couldn’t see anything within the town, so I started to search just outside the wall.

That was when I spotted it, one of the city’s metal men, dead, symbol and all, with something clutched in his hand, glinting…I was going to dismiss him, except then I realized that something was bit…off. So I flew over.

The first odd thing was that the thing the man was holding was a necklace. It was silver with a little pendant that resembled a mirror, except it was black. But he wasn’t wearing it, like a normal person of his size might, he was holding it, as if he had grabbed it from somewhere. As I was examining the shiny necklace, I noticed something else- the man was facing away from the city, his back to the walls, and in his back were arrows. As if he’d been…leaving. But a guard, leaving in the middle of an attack? That didn’t seem right…

Realizing that I had stumbled upon something big, I flew to the nearest person I could find, which happened to be Serenity. I told her what I found, took her to the guard, and reluctantly showed her the necklace. I didn’t want her to be mad for me taking it off one of the dead men with that symbol, but thankfully she didn’t seem to be. She agreed that it was weird. She told me it was a mystery, and we had to solve it! I am a sucker for mysteries!

So we set out to figure out a)what the necklace was, a b) why the guard was running! It took some time, a lot of questions, and a lot of me showing peple the shiny necklace which I wasn’t too comfortable with, but finally we found out it was an amulet of some lady named Shar. And then the head guy, the man in charge of all the city’s metal men asked us not to say anything about the guard who’d been running. I didn’t understand. Shouldn’t people know about it? It wasn’t till later that Serenity explained it to me. The arrows in the guards back had been the same that the other guards had been shooting at the orcs. The man had been fleeing, and the guards had killed him. But why? And why did we have to keep quiet about it?

Serenity and I went to talk to Ellia. They were talking about someone called the pale lady, and the drawbridge and how it takes two to lower it, and many other things. I couldn’t really follow, because at the time I had discovered something even more fascinating- the necklace was magical! When I turned it at a certain angle, it would conjure a magic light on other surfaces, and when he moved it around the light moved too! I began using it is a spotlight, shining it on the two woman as each spoke in front of me. Each time I shined it on Serenity, she made a face like Steeve did, back when the ‘poltergeist’ used to throw things at him, or splash water in his eyes. That aside, it was sounding more and more like the run-away-guard had an accomplice, and the head guard wanted it all hush-hush.

I was having so much fun with my new discovered magical light when suddenly I realized that Serenity had something in her hands and was holding it out to me. It was the box she kept the hot guy prisoner in!
“Hey Demi, want to go in here?” She asked. I was torn. The box was a prison, but there was a hottie in it…and I really really really wanted to get to know him! Unable to contain myself, I finally flew in.

And then I nearly flew back out. Somehow, the box was bigger on the inside! How was that possible! I was so surprised I almost didn’t realize the the hottie in the box was yelling out a window at Serenity. I could only here one half of the conversation, but I got the feeling it pertained to me somehow. It went kind of like this:
“What is she doing here!?…Do I have to?…grumble grumble Oh fine, whatever….” Then the sexy black haired sort-of-pixie directed to a nice little table and told me to have a seat. He didn’t seem to want me in there…but I was determined to stick it out and get to know him! So sheepishly I sat, looking eagerly around the room, and finally to him once more.
“Um…h-h-h-hi. I-I-‘m D-DemitriaDeirdreSigy, b-but you can call me D-Demi-! I-I mean, if you’d like-!”
“Great, do you want tea?” He asked, sounding rather bored.
“Um, s-sure I’d love some-!…Um….wait what’s ‘tea’?” I asked. He gave me an odd look and then sighed heavily.
“This…is going to be a long night.” He said before pouring some water into a kettle.

Part 3, “Sleepover With Hot Stuff!”

The thing called tea turned out to be a drink. It was deliciously warm. It filled my stomach, cleared my head, and made me feel oddly comfortable. It was after this happened that he began to talk to me finally.
“You know, you’re place is really nice…I really like it.” I told him with a smile. "
Your paintings are soooo coool…" He seemed to like all the compliments, and his gloomy demeanor passed for a moment.
“Have you ever been painted?” He asked me. I shook my head “no”. Never in my life had anyone made a picture of me, except for me on occasion, in the dirt with a stick on particularly boring days in the woods. Steeve saw one of them once and said it looked like a board with a digestion problem. I didn’t draw myself ever again.

“Would you like to be painted?” Bale asked me. I felt my tiny heart leap right our of my chest!
“Yes! Oh my gosh, will you really do it? Can you really paint me!?” I asked, smiling brightly. Bale smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, sit there.” He said, rushing somewhere out of the room and returning with an odd stick structure, which he told me was a canvas stand, followed by a white thing, that looked like a painting but with nothing on it.

And so Bale painted me. Normally I have a hard time holding still for too long, but for some reason, I could that night. Perhaps it was that ‘tea’ stuff…

He showed me the painting when he had finished. At first I was surprised- I was not painted in the kitchen, but rather leaning against a large tree! It looked so much look home it nearly brought tears to my eyes!
“I-It’s great! Oh wow, thank you so much!” I told him. I could count on one hand the number of times I had been this happy. He talked about the painting process for a while. It was starting to get late. I was worried that he would make me leave. But I was in luck. He let me sleep over! And so I got to add another thing to that list of happiest moments of my life ever!

It was just like the slumber party I never had! We even shared the bed, although he seemed a bit reluctant. I don’t know why! I wonder if he’s afraid of cuddling. After all, when I awoke the next day, I was sort of sprawled over him. But he didn’t say anything…maybe he didn’t mind so much after all?

Serenity's Contemplations Part 5

Waffles and Spellfire!

Today held many things for me. I woke up to Elia pouring Cold water on me! Ok I may have needed more than just the wash down I gave myself last night, however there is no need to douse me with cold water so early in the morning! I mean for Mystra’s sake that damned Tiefling needs the bath more than I do! I decided to use a spell to dry my only clothes I had until Narm brought my order to me. I also decided to study in bed via osmosis by putting the book on my head and meditating about the spells. I did this for about an hour. Then the wonderful lady of the house had her maids whip us up some grand waffles!

I am a fan of great cooking and by the Gods this woman’s cook is one of a kind! Those waffles tasted better than anything I have had since leaving my dear college of Silverymoon. The butter was melting so wonderfully and the mix of syrup and sweet pastry was divine! Seraphim kept telling me to slow down or I would choke. She has never had to eat in a Café full of hungry students that would eat your left arm if it got in their way of food! I have been trained at an early age if you want your food you need to eat what you have faster than the rest! And never waste a bite of Good food.

However my bliss only lasted my first serving of ten waffles when a lad came to the door saying my order had arrived and that he needed to speak to me. I was mid bite so I had him ushered in. He then went on to explain he had some “magic stuff” Narm sent with him for me to look at. (Now at retelling this it should have accrued to me that anyone calling Magical devices “magic stuff” was a bad person and that there was a trap waiting for some dope. I was that dope.) I was curious what kind of magic these back water people could get. It might have been something to do with Neth and his origins. Or some simple scroll of mending that was worth nothing. So I put my fork in my stack of delicious divinity of food and followed the lad out to a cart out by the barn. He was saying how he was not educated in the ways of the Art (I make him sound smarter than he did himself.) When the flaps of the cart opened and Narm and three goons with crossbows pointed at me jumped out. She said “Get her and throw her in the back!”
Ok so I was more than shocked at the sudden hostility this shop keep showed towards me. So I screamed like a little girl. I remembered what Elia had said that Narm worked for the Zhentarium. These people I was told killed my parents and wanted me very badly because of my gift. Why?! What did I do to them!? I was just eating Waffles! I was minding my own business and even saved their damn town! This gift the Lady of mysteries laid upon me was what they wanted, not me. I thought that if you help people and showed no hostility towards them they would do the same. I was wrong very wrong! I was so angry, and I wanted them to feel the hurt and pain that I felt. They wanted my gift so damn bad that they would betray my trust and ruin my waffles!? Then let them feel the burning pain of the great gift Mystra bestowed onto me! Let their bodies turn to ash and their evil black hart’s burn to nothingness! I also at that point remembered I had not memorized any spells as of yet. The men were trying to grip me and one slipping past I was able to slip out of their grasp, and even hit one in the jaw. I didn’t feel the pain in my hand at that point. I didn’t feel anything but rage and hurt. I remember the power inside building up wanting to be let lose. I only ever practiced with my gift on dummies before. Not living creatures and I never thought I would use it on humans! Or even other intelligent races. I never thought that I would have to take the life of something other than a monster or a blood thirsty orc! However I had no spells to save me and I still had the power I soaked from the spells yesterday. I was so upset tears were streaming out of my eyes but they were so warm and felt not like the salty watery tears of children’s tears. These were of blue flame. My whole body was now enveloped in the raw magic that flowed through my veins. It burned to hold it in. It felt as if it would tear me apart. I needed to let it go, but felt guilty for wanting to hurt other people!

I don’t remember much but bits and pieces of the battle with the Zhents. I saw blue flame, lots of it all around me. It felt warm and safe. I remember seeing Narm run away, and hearing a voice not my own tell Seraphim to kill her. I was ordering anyone to kill her. I was unable to move but I don’t know why. I was screaming to have this person killed, but why and whose voice was this? I begged Keiji to kill her. Then I saw the Tiefling and shouted to stop her! He must have been scared shitless because he shot two arrows one I saw hit Narm that killed her and the other flew past her and hit Seraphim. I don’t remember much after that but searing regret and a pain in my chest I never felt before. I could almost say a part of me died that day. A part that I never knew was there, until it went away. I am wondering if it is what people call innocence? I killed town’s people I fought not more than eight hours ago to save. Was I any better than the orcs that raided this place? Am I evil inside? Or was I justified in slaying them. Why would I want to kill anyone that chose to run away? And who’s voice was that mixed with mine?

I woke up on the ground next to Seraphim. Felt a rock in my stomach and ejected all the wonderful waffles I had eaten! She was holding my head and there was so much yelling. Neth had come too. I guess I screamed loud enough for everyone to hear me. Bel was saying something to Neth about how Narm attacked us, and Neth didn’t believe him. Of course it had to be the damn shop keep that Neth befriended that went after me. I weakly tried to stand but found my legs not wanting to support my weight. Keiji helped me to my feet while the other tree yelled at each other. That is when Elia came to the door way and saw everything. That is also when I saw what I did.

Were the three men were standing were now burnt black and chard corpses lay there. Narm was face down with an arrow hole in her and char marks on her. I wanted to explain but found no words to cover everything. I felt so guilty for taking the lives of those people. I was too quick to react with force and now four people are dead and will never see their families again, because of me and this “gift”. Would she still want to be around someone as horrible as me? Should I leave and keep everyone safe that way? Will she be mad at me for taking lives? Will she think that I am some kind of monster? Or will she turn me in to whoever pays the highest bidder? I was scared and couldn’t move on my own. All I got out was that Narm and the men attacked me and I protected myself. Seraphim vouched for me saying she saw the men trying to grab me. Keiji then set me down and helped with the bodies. Elia and him put them in the back of the cart and burned it. I wanted to help but Elia wouldn’t let me. I truly think she is angry with me. I am no better than the Orcs or other monsters. I took human lives. Lives that cannot be brought back, I took a friend of someone I know and now I cannot replace that. I decided I needed to talk to Elia right away. I asked her to meet me up at the rooms. I needed to talk to someone and she was the only real friend I have. And now I might not have her for very long. I just wanted to be back in the college safe and bored.

I was helped up to the rooms by Seraphim who kept saying that I was not allowed to go anywhere alone. Did she even think I was a monster, or some twisted being? As a cleric of Torm she would know justice and what was right. I had a hole in my chest that kept getting deeper. I felt a dark place coming to eat my soul. I felt so weak and scared. What was I to do now? There was no going back from what I have done.

Seraphim had stated that she needed help to get her armor on. I was deep in thought and mindlessly agreed to help. Forgetting I had no idea what I was doing with any type of armor. She said to tighten this strap there and I must of tightened it too much or she ate too many waffles, but she let out a yelp and that’s when Elia came through the door. They instructed me on how one is to help with armor. I took notes so as to do it right the next time.

After Seraphim had her full plate on, Elia asked what I wanted to talk about. I was unsure as to how to start. It’s not every day one says “hey I have a power coursing through my veins that every mage and power hungry group wants.” I was also scared she wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. She is really the only one I have and I would hate to lose her. My heart was pounding in my chest I could hear it in my ears. The palms of my hands were getting sweaty and warm. I tried to mentally tell the fire inside me to be calm. But I was not calm I was scared and confused. She has always been nice to me and always showed me the right way of the world around me. And Seraphim has been a wonderful protector almost like a mother I never really knew. Will they leave me? Will they hate me? And then there is the whole “Don’t tell ANYONE about your power!” that my Teacher told me. But I will not hold this back from people who may get hurt by being around me. They have the right to know and now that it may be leaked outside they may be in danger.

“I asked you to talk because there is something really important that I need to tell you. You remember when we were walking back from the fort and talking about the Zhents?”

“Yeah, I said that Narm maybe a spy for them, and to keep your eyes and ears open.”Elia reiterated.

“Yeah, about that, you see they are after my gift that I have. It’s very rare and powerful. And they want it at any cost.”
I then called forth a small amount of blue flame. To show both in the room what I was talking about.
“This is Spellfire. The one most prized gift from Mystra herself.”

“Isn’t that the thing that only one person has ever at a time in the realms?” Elia asked

“Yes, and everyone will track me down and either try and kill me for it or kidnap me and force me to use it for their gains. This is what killed my parents and will someday kill me.”
At this point I was about to cry, my heart was in my ears and up my throat. I wanted to run from the room and hide away from everyone and everything. I wanted to break down and cry and plead Elia not to hate me. I had no idea what to do. I felt like a monster and wanted to go away for everyone’s safty.

“We won’t let them have you, and No one will harm you. I will make sure of it!” This came from Eila’s mouth and she had a look of shared pain. As if she knew what I was going through. I wanted to cry, not because I was sad but because I was so happy she didn’t hate me. And Seraphim agreed, saying. “They will need to fight through Torm’s Hand before I will let them harm you.” Did I really find two people that are willing to stand by me even though I may bring danger? I was relieved and renewed by this and felt slightly better for it. I am glad I told them and that I can talk to someone about my gift. However nothing will bring back those people lives I took, I will try next time and every time after that to talk and reason with everyone before I throw any spell or spellfire. Elia then said we must get ready for the mines soon and that we needed to be off as soon as possible. I did tell both of them not to tell a soul. They both agreed to this.

I went and got the pack that Narm brought with my stuff in it. It had the things to write scroll and one cannot have too many of those. I went to work to make the scrolls and found out that a college student’s money pouch may be a bit light for scroll making. I was pondering this when Seraphim came down and was asking about getting gear she lost in the fire. That’s when an idea struck me. Churches have money… so clerics will have money. Ok so I sold my soul to Seraphim to make scrolls all I have to do is help her don her armor and shine it every so often. How hard can that be and with the right spells that armor will never go dull again! So with scrolls in hand and spells in head, I was ready. I then remembered that Seraphim needed help getting supplies, and we just killed the only shop keep in town.

Ok so she may be a cleric of a good God, and I may be a prominent wizard with good intentions. But when people need supplies and the shop keep is dead you are in the clear to relieve the shop from its unused stuff. We found the pixie Demi, conned her into getting into the shop and getting a list of things. I had bale write a list so it wouldn’t be too large for Demi. She was more than happy to help get the things that were needed. At the moment Demi left, Keiji came behind us and asked what we were doing. We tried to explain but as a male his head was too simple to understand the necessity of the situation. So he left in a huff.

Demi came back with all the things on the list and even said that she told Neth that we had paid for these things and he gave them to her for free! How Neth was there and running the shop I have no Idea but at least Seraphim got her stuff and we were ready to leave.

Rodney Dangerfield Has Nothing On Me

I found myself being woken up by Elia early in the morning. I guessed it was around 5, so I’d had maybe two hours of sleep tops. Head pounding, I asked her what she wanted with all the respect I had for her at this moment.

“Look, I’m tired and hungover. If you really want me that bad, can’t it wait until later?”

Elia was not amused in the slightest.

“No you ass, I want you to-”

GAH, too loud. Head hurts.”

“I want you to-”

“For fucks sake stop yelling you vile bitch.”


“Thank you.”

“You done? I want you to go kill that orc the Warforged let loose.”

“Well I tried to last night, but noooooo, no one ever thinks about the repercussions of giving orcs”

“Just shut up, I’m telling you to kill him now.” Elia held up a shiny platinum coin, which I snap grabbed.


I jumped fell out of bed, staggering around as I grabbed my equipment. Vino would probably kick my ass if I turned down an assassination job, and the target was certainly dangerous to our current interests, as well as society in general. Clearly he could not be allowed to return to his camp and help the other orcs form a better attack party.

Heading north, I followed his trail with the grace and speed of a cheetah with Down’s Syndrome. After about half an hour, I caught up with him. I snuck up behind him and plugged him with an arrow in the back of the head, just like I learned in preschool. After looting his body and recovering the Warforged’s notebook, I took the liberty of mutilating the corpse to look like he had been attacked by a wild animal. The last thing I need is that self righteous pile of gears getting uppity and trying to shove his sword up my ass.

I started to head back to town when I ran into… two black bears? Really? We’re still going to go with this gag? I mean, yes, the adventures in Bearberg were soooooo hilarious, if you don’t think about the hundreds of people who died. No one ever does. Besides me.

Anyways, I managed to convince the bears that I wasn’t worth attacking by bribing them with the rations I took from the orc. They took off running towards something else, probably a deer or something.

I looked around and realized that I had managed to get myself a bit lost. Some ranger I am. I started to attempt to retrace my steps when:



I ran towards the source of the scream and yep, those bears were attacking an old man on a cart. Well, I didn’t need the blood of another innocent on my hands, so I attacked the bears. The old man was pretty torn up, so I hoped that if worst came to worst, he’d have a quick death.

I let two arrows fly, one catching one of the bears, the other… fuck me, really? Really? The other arrow managed to get the old man straight in the chest, hopefully ending his misery. The bear and I scuffled for a bit, but I took him down fairly easily. The second one was more interested in eating the old man, so I took the opportunity to get some damage in. One of the arrows hit him, and the other killed his mule.

And people wonder why I drink so goddamn much.

I finished off the bear and recovered my arrows. Thankfully the old man was covered in scratches and bites from the bear and it was impossible to tell that is was an arrow that killed him. Upon searching his pockets (and for those of you in the audience going on about how immoral that is, fuck off. He’s dead and he’s not coming back. I wish he wasn’t dead, but it’s too late now and now we’re both going to have to make the best of a bad situation) I found a message from our benefactor. Apparently this cart was full of supplies and the next town over needed troops. Wow, I feel even worse now. Pocketing the note, I grabbed some meat out of his satchel and took off towards town.

As I made my entrance into town, I heard an incredibly loud scream. I took off running towards the source, hoping I wasn’t too late. I arrived at Stauven’s house to find Serenity looking like a demon surrounded by blue flame and the half orc shopkeep running away at full speed.

KILL HER!” Serenity screamed at me.

I took a brief moment to consider my options. I already know that the town is just a bunch of people from a dangerous group, the shopkeep being one of the heads. I also know that Serenity looks very distressed, like she has just been attacked. I also also know that Serenity is kind of a Mary Sue, ergo she’s a player character, ergo she’s probably in the right here. I also also ALSO know that the bitch running at me treated me like shit last night and the Warforged likes her and that I have a splitting headache, am running on minimal sleep, am tired, covered in vomit, blood, zombie ass juice, and piss, and I just want Serenity to stop fucking screaming-

I draw two arrows and let them fly. Based off of the barkeep’s abilities, the shopkeep is probably around level 5 or 6 and might put up a fi- oh, the first one killed her. That was easy. Oh shit there’s another arrow flying.

I winced as I watched my second arrow fly and hit Seraphim square in the chest. Shit. Oh, and there’s the goddamn Warforged, this is just fucking great. Now I look like the bad guy for helping the stupid wizard.

I attempt to reason with the shitty hunk of scrap, but it doesn’t listen. Obviously. It tells me to drop my bow, but I refuse. I’ve done nothing wrong here and I’ll be more damned than I already am before I let some shitty walking MacGuffin just waltz in and take credit for apprehending the “demon.”

Of course, then the magical voice in the sky said to just drop the weapon. Fine God, side with the robot. I drop my weapon and get tied up by the Warforged who drags me over to where everyone else is. Serenity even used her her super special magic powers to heal Seraphim, so no fucking harm done. Not even a thanks for stopping the person who I’m assuming attacked you, if what Elia said last night was true. Fuck this noise, first chance I get to ruin your shitty little story, I will. See if I care.

Speaking of Elia, she picked this moment to show up. She came over and untied me.

“So did you take care of what I asked you to do?”

“Yeah. Also, I ran into a supply cart on the road that had been attacked by bears.” I continued despite the look of disbelief on Elia’s face. “I found this on him. I’ll have you talk to Stauvin. You’re also going to need to send a person to go recover the supplies.”

“Thank you. Here’s a little bonus for your work.”

Two more platinum pieces. Huh. Looks like our masked boss is loaded. I’m going to guess royalty. After recovering my bow, I went to go apologize to Seraphim. After I apologized, I managed (with some help from Elia) to talk her into healing me. I owe her a couple favors now, but I’m sure that I’ll find some way to make it up quickly and easily. I hate being in debt.

I went inside the house and started yelling for Demi to get up, as she was the only member of our party who wasn’t looking at me like I was some sort of evil asshole and I really wanted to make sure I was good and hated at this point. Not like doing something good for them would ever make them happy. I was informed that she was in Serenity’s box and I wasn’t supposed to touch her box (copper for every time I’ve heard that). So I stood there yelling at it for a good five minutes until Serenity came along and told me to knock it off. You’re welcome.

I went downstairs to try to find a bucket of water I could wash off with because quite frankly, I was a mess. The maids threw me outside and told me to use the trough. Honestly, I should have stayed with Vino and become an assassin too. At least then maybe I might get a little respect.

I cleaned myself off in their livestock’s drinking water, pissing in it for good measure. Then I went inside and ate waffles while the supposed “good” members of our party looted the general store before we left. And they say I’m evil.

There Seems to be no Love Here

Woke up extremely groggy this morning. Most of what happened the night before is beyond my recollection. I hope I did nothing untoward to any of my temporary team mates while I was out of it. There was a delicious scent to the air once I finally came to, but food was the last thing on my mind. Armor, I desperately needed to put my armor on. NEVER AGAIN, will I be caught in a battle without it. I learned my lesson, and how can I help others find love and to keep their love, if I am unable to withstand a simple attack from some Orcs? That will not do! I stood up impowered by love as I set off to find my errant armor which was definitely not where I left it last.

Yumekichi and myself trekked through the small building that we were in, and it took longer to find what I was looking for than I thought it would. Once the white/silver colored links of my armor came into sight, I couldn’t help but to give that sigh of relief. At once I started to put it on, though just as I was finishing the rearranging of the rest of my garments I heard the cry of what my frazzled mind first thought was a banshee but then was quickly re-cataloged as Serenity crying for help. How those two got mixed up, I am unsure. Running as quickly as I could, I made sure I had my trusty sword with me before ducking through the back door. The sight that greeted me was one I wasn’t expecting. Serenity, the mostly sweet young girl looked absolutely terrifying and maybe a touch on the evil side with that blue glow and next I took in the sight of three rapidly burning bodies coated in that same blue fire. A frown of confusion couldn’t be held back as I watched Seraphim go after what appeared to be the shopkeeper lady who was also on fire.
KILL HER!” ‘Serenity’ commanded me. I looked between the retreating form of the poor lady back to the ‘demonic’ appearance of the other.
“What?” I really couldn’t come up with more than that. She was retreating for heavens’ sake! I couldn’t possibly with a clear mind go after her. I didn’t even know the full story as to what was going on. I did start towards the direction that Seraphim and the shopkeeper had gone and my pace was quickened once I saw the shopkeeper first get struck down by an arrow then watch with more than a bit of shock as another struck Seraphim straight in the chest. Down went the cleric and I looked up to see who had done such a thing, to see none other than Belial. A feeling that was getting rather close to hate was starting to form for the man with antlers. I had just reached Seraphim the same time as somehow Serenity showed up. Just as I was about to help, Serenity did something weird and the arrow slid out. It saved Seraphims’ life, but seemed to have drained Serenity quite a bit.

After explaining what happened to the very tall man in the full plate armor, I offered to help Elia with the bodies. I thought at first I was helping her bury the bodies, but no…she was burning them in the coach. I was willing to let this small evil pass until I saw her looting the body of the shopkeeper. How could she desecrate the dead like that? As far as I knew she didn’t have a reason to do such a thing and I let her know that as well. She said it was ‘wasteful’ and left it at that. The nerve! The only time that I can imagine it being fine to do such a thing is if they were indeed an enemy and then at that point, if they fought you as well then their life and possessions were forfeit to them. I’ve been told it’s a weird code, but it’s one I happily live by and will never change. We had a brief rest when we could resupply ourselves of the possessions that were lost in the fire. The fire that Belial had set, why I will never probably fully understand…and then we set off to go to the mine, a task that I was starting to not look forward to.

Attack of the Scary Green Giants!

After we left the building where the metal man came out of the liar-box, we went into the town itself. It was my first time being in a town and I must say that I was taken aback. So this was where the giants lived. I have never seen building like these- it was like they were carved from some miraculous brown material, and polished hard gray surfaces! I never lived in places like these structures- I lived in a tree, and these were NOT trees! I very much wanted to look around and see what treasures this place had to offer, but my group decided to go into this building called a ‘tavern’. Not wanting to get lost, I joined, although I was reluctant. Steeve had warned me about these places. He said the people go into ‘taverns’ and come out disoriented, confused, and pukey. He said that they go in with the gold discs and come back without them. He said that once that happens, their wives leave them, they can’t pay their taxes, and then they have to done a satyr costume and go live in the forest with a bunch of pixies and woodland critters that like to defecate on their lawn. But since when have I ever listened to Steeve?

I bravely entered this rumored horrid place to find that not only was it nearly empty save for our half-rowdy group, but it also didn’t look all that dangerous. There was a solitary man behind the counter called an ‘inn-keeper’, who said his name was Trevis. He showed us our rooms, which were upstairs, and that’s when I saw the BIGGEST BEDS IN THE WORLD. I stared at them and felt like I might faint. How was I supposed to sleep in those!? I would get lost, or squished if one of my party members couldn’t see me in that ocean of blankets. Shaking my head, I started to look around for alternative sleeping spaced when I heard Bel and the man with the monkey heading downstairs. Curious, I followed.

Bel and monkey-man sat at the bar and both requested things from the bartender, things by a names I’d never heard before! What wondrous items could these things be? I watched for a while in interest. I saw the gold discs being exchanged. And then Trevis handed them back mugs with liquid in them. I was appalled! What was it with the giants and just volunteering themselves to be ripped off!? If I wanted a drink, I could just as easily find a damned river!

However the injustice I had just witnessed did remind me of something- I didn’t have very many of those gold discs. I was told that I would need many for my journey to barter necessary supplies. And if what Steeve said about these taverns making your money disappear was true, I was going to need some right away to make up for what I would surely lose! Bel was trying to get my attention for something, and kept shoving this thimble-full of some sort of stinky liquid in my face, but I couldn’t be bothered by that now. I had to find gold-discs.

Telling Bel I’d return, I left the tavern and began to look around. It occurred to me that I didn’t actually know where golden discs came from. People seemed to have them, but where did they get them? I had seen no plants bearing the discs. Then I remembered that people sometimes got them from other people with things to trade. I needed to find a trader! Surely these vendors were the givers of the discs, the suppliers of the shiny things. Thankfully it wasn’t difficult to find one as there seemed to be one right across the street.

The window was generously left open, surely to accommodate small flying things like myself who have a tough time with big doors.

The building was dim inside, and as I looked around I began to worry- there didn’t seem to be anything remotely shiny or glinty. I was getting ready to give up and check to see if maybe the discs came from another building when I saw some out the corner of my eye, tucked away under a shelf, which I thought was silly. Why would anyone tuck something so shiny away, especially if it was meant to go to people that needed it? Smiling with a little shrug, I grabbed a few and made my way back to the tavern. I was barely aware as I flitted back over that someone was yelling something about a thief.

Once inside the tavern, glowing and smiling from my successful job, I went over to Bel to share in my success. But he wasn’t listening, he was still trying to shove that weird liquid in my face. The money an was stiffing a giggle, but over what I wasn’t sure.
“Here Demi drink this.” Bel said. I looked at the liquid, uncertain.
“What is it?” I asked, looking back up to the red, antlered man.
“Just drink it! It’s good!” He said. Pixie’s don’t do well with peer pressure. I sniffed at the liquid. It smelled like death, dying, with a little bit of fear mixed it. I looked at him.
“You crazy, Bel? I’m not drinking it.” I told him.
“C’mon Demi, I promise it’s good. It’s a present! You like presents, right?” He asked. I was shocked. How did he know? I loved presents. The best thing about presents is that they’re for me. The second best thing about presents is that if you don’t like them you can trade them to someone else for better presents!
“Gimme that!” I said, and I chugged it down. Let it never be said that Belial isn’t convincing, or possibly evil. He should have the trophy for ‘Worst Friend Ever’. Downing the drink is the last thing I remember doing that night.

I would later awake to the sounds of screams and slaughter.

I awoke from the bed (who put me there anyways, I could have DIED), and found that I couldn’t really fly very well. I flapped my pixie wings, and I went up, but when I tried to go left I went right, and when I tried to go right I ran into the door. It was one of the most frustrating things I’d ever experienced. There was noise coming from downstairs which was what had awoken me. I secretly wondered what Steeve would say if he saw me like this, but then reasoned that he probably wouldn’t say much- he’d be too busy laughing at my expense. And that right there is why Steeve isn’t allowed to have nice things.

When I reached the main floor of the tavern, it was filled with giants. My giants, the towns giants clad in dingy metal clothes, and a bunch of…green giants! Who looked less jolly and more pissed off, the out for blood sort of pissed off that makes a pixie want to turn invisible! So I did.

Now when I said green giants, I really meant orcs. I wasn’t so sheltered that I didn’t know what an orc was, it’s just all giants tend to look similar to me, so I refer to them mainly by their outstanding features. But anyways, so I went invisible, and starting shooting the hell out of them. They went down a little faster than I expected, and I was quite relieved. But I guess it wasn’t over just then.
“The orcs are attacking the village!” A metal-clad giant cried before running out the door with other similarly adorned giants. My group all went outside to help. So I went with them.

The town was a mess. It was filled with orcs and metal men, all fighting, all screaming, some dying. For some reason, there was some sort of argument about where we should help first. In the end, we ended up splitting- Ellia of the mask (I guess that’s what they call the faces she like to where on her face), Serenity (blonde wizard lady with the hottie in the box), and the fellow from earlier all went one way, myself, Bel, and the innkeeper went the other. I had lost sight of Not-For (the metallic man that arose from the box we opened) some time ago. Seraphim and Keiji the Monkey Man had stayed behind, something about one of them not being conscious and the other tending to their wounds- I’m not sure, there was so much going on it was hard not to get lost just trying to follow my group! Luckily Bel tends to stand out, so I just kept my eyes on him.

Things were going pretty well- I was invisibly sniping orcs off of roofs and Bel was less-invisibly doing the same thing. It looked liked things would soon be resolved and then something odd happened- the Tavern caught fire! Bel and the innkeeper were both totally alarmed by this, though I wasn’t sure why Bel was till I noticed the flaming arrow sticking out of the pub wall. How had he manged that?! Deciding I wasn’t really a great person to help put out fires, I focused on polishing off the remaining orcs while the two of them did battle with the flames. Right when I was thinking it couldn’t get worse, Bel for SOME STUPID REASON decided to urinate on the flames. This angered the flames and the tavern exploded. I am still trying to piece together how this happened. I am a pixie, and I have never had need to pay much attention to science or things like that, but how does urine plus fire equal explosion!? I will have to ask him some time.

The battle of green giants and urine-aggravated store fires raged on. Thankfully both Keiji and Seraphim were extracted from the blaze, smelling a little smokey, but otherwise uninjured. Let it never be said that Belial is always intelligent. We fought off the remaining orcs that weren’t already engaged by the towns metal men, and then we made our way to the Fort.

We were confronted by a large door, one of the biggest I’d ever seen, except it didn’t have a handle. Bel explained that it was a draw bridge, and that it needed lowered. Finally my smallness and mobility could be of use! I flew over the gate and spotted two small building to which the chains on the bridge seemed to go. The first had an orc in it, rummaging around the contents of the shack. I shot him with a sleep arrow, and he fell down, very much asleep, and never woke up. Man, I don’t recall making them that potent. Oh well. I approached some sort of odd lever. I pulled it with some difficulty, as it was quite heavy. There was a groan and the chain moved. Excitedly I rushed out of the shed to check the bridge. It was sort of leaning on one side, but it wasn’t open yet. With a huff I went to the other shed. Inside was a dying metal man from the town. I looked at him with pity. He wasn’t looking so good. He was reaching for the lever. I tried to pull it, but it was good and stuck. I was about to try again when an orc ran in, his weapon trained on the dying guard. My invisibility came in handy, and before the orc could make the poor man’s life more miserable, I made him the orc fall asleep- for good. a flew over to the soldier. He looked so confused. I whispered in his ear.
“Don’t worry,” I said, “Everything will be alright. We’re going to help you.” I don’t know if it made him feel better, since he couldn’t see me and the poor man probably thought he was losing his mind in his last breaths, but I hope I at least helped a bit! I gave the lever a final tug, and it gave. The bridge lowered and my group rushed in, ready to save the fort.

What they ended up finding was a large, smelly, undead ogre and more orcs, surrounded by terrified and dying soldiers.

Logs of the warforged 2

Log 003

It seems battle shall ever fallow me, I located the commoners that awaked me but they had retired for the evening. I will never understand why creatures need to sleep it is just so inefficient. As I waited for them to awaken I occupied my self with cutting wood for the inn keeper. I didnt need to work long before trouble arose a group of green skinned humidnoids were breaking in, though I had no problem with these creatures I did need the people inside to remain unharmed. after refusing my offer to leave peacefully the green ones attacked, sadly it seem mortal creatures haven’t grown any stronger since my sleep and I may have been a bit overzealous in my attacks. This became clear when one of the commoners was struck down, at least they chose to fight instead of cowering in their rooms. Perhaps they have potential. After questioning the one green creature that surrendered I learned they are called orcs and there seems to be lot of hatred twords them. Is it really any wonder that they would attack this settlement. While they healed and and prepared for battle the commoners introduced themselves.

  • Serenity a novice wizard with an ego worthy of an Arch Magus I get the felling this was her first time away from her tower.
  • Belial clearly a demon of some sort but rather skilled with a bow.
  • Demitria at first glance I thought she was a bug of some sort but apparently she is a pixie.
  • Keiji who at the time was unconscious due to injures he also wields a large great sword and doesn’t seem to be afraid to fight. He showed potential should he recover we shall have to spar.
  • Seraphim a priestess of some sort gaining spells from her god. I shall have to keep my eye on her.
  • Elia she seems to be the leader of the party and have a thing for masks perhaps I shall craft her one if she agrees to take me to the mine.

After questioning the orc I had captured Ive learned that some one they call the dark lady had directed the orcs to attack the settlement. the novice mage seemed shocked that I kept my word and released the orc, she demaned that I kill it while it was helpless. It seems she doesnt care for mercy or keeping ones word, she will she will go far as a mage.

Log 004

I have made a deal with the masked woman in exchange for fighting for her and helping to defend the settlement she and her group will take me to the mine I was found at. As we steped out of the inn to we were greeted by the sounds of war many guards and orcs were fighting, I noticed an orc mage on the roof of the building across from us and quickly when to subdue him. he seemed surprised to find me next to him, He was clearly smarter than his brethren as he promptly surrendered, I restrained him to the Chimney of the building and quickly when on my way to clear a path to our target (the home of the man who brought me to this village) I will have to rember to come back for the orc he maybe able to shed more light on whats going on. While clearing our path of orcs I seem to have saved a half breed woman from them she appeared to be very grateful and even tagged a long for the rest of the battle (most like for protection). As we made to the target I saw something that I had never seen before a group of smaller greens skinned creatures (I now know these are Goblins not infant orcs) were launching Flaming chickens at the house. A very strange and not to effective tactic. while closing in on them the launched one of these flaming poultry at me but I was prepared and sent it fly back at them giving me just enough time to close in on the orc leader. the fool tried to cast a fear spell on me. I promptly cut him in half for being so stupid, and the goblins fled. as I turned around and head back to the house I caught the novice mage dispelling her fire ball but not in the proper way she may be playing at magics to strong for her. i warn her that she shouldn’t do that but she just looked confused. the parties employer looked thankful and tried to get one of us to stay and defend him when masked one offered up the half breed woman he quickly decided he was fine with out protection and hid back inside. I see that even half breeds get treated badly. after confirming that their employer was ok we head off to join the other two at the fort. As we passed back through town it seems the fighting had gotten worse as the Inn was burned down (I latter learned this was the work of the Daemon archer) when we arrived at the fort the demon and the pixie were battling an undead ogre with our additional help the beast quickly fell. Though the daemon did attempt to shoot the masked lady, if mask had not been so well made she surely would have died. with that the remaining orcs fled the settlement and every one started the rebuilding process. I decided to help the half breed woman repair her store and Even make some improvements perhaps this Mr. Stonebrace will rethink his opinion on her. she was nice enough to let me keep my prisoner in side here shop and it wasn’t long be fore the party showed up wanting to question him (mortals rarely see the value in taking enemies alive until after they killed them all)After some discussion and several murder attempts we didn’t learn any new info just that the dark lady sent them here and that she had infiltrators open the gates for them. these orc show potential but with out proper strategy they will never last. though the party didn’t like it when I helped him with that, I will have to talk to him again tonight before I let him go. after doing what I could for the half breed woman’s shop. I set out to fix the novice mage’s mirror (apparently melted in the inn fire) it wasn’t difficult to find a forge (even though it was in some disrepair) and I set to work after completing the mirror I started working on some of the weapons that had been lying around. it wasn’t long until I had a large crowd gathered around asking me to fix their blades and tools. it is good to see my skills haven’t faltered during my long deactivation. once all the items were restored I head back to the shop. It appears my party had once again retired for the day(such a waste of time). this gave me a chance to speak with the orc with out them trying to kill it. I learned of their plight that they were starving and that humans had taken much of there land with little other choice the had taken to raiding. Before I escorted the orc out of town and in to the woods I wrote out a small guide book for him, full of information on how to farm, hunt, negotiate, trade, and of course some small unit tactics for defense. hopefully with this he shall be able to start a village and eventually start trade with other settlements. if nothing else the rations I was able to buy from the shop should easy their hunger for a little bit.

Serenity's Contemplations Part 4

Not you’re Typical School Night:

I was taken from my slumber late, the first night we were at Newfort. I was in such a deep slumber I really thought I was back in Silverymoon. To the point of explaining to the rude person that was trying to pry me from my warm bed that they need to tell the instructors I was sick. However said person was very persistent in the endeavor of getting my bottom out of the warmth of my bed.

I came to realize that this person was Seraphim and that we were not in Silverymoon and that the ever proverbial “Shit” was hitting the fan. I shot out of bed in just my night wear and was told by the very tall very stern lady (Seraphim) that we were being attacked. I thought that this was way too late in the evening to be attacking anyone! And had my mind to tell said “attackers” this when I met them. How rude and uncivilized do you have to be to attack random people in the night!? I mean really! However Elia enlightened me that these may be orc types out there and to be careful.

We heard a large “CRACK!” and some steel on steel. My heart started to race as I tried to remember what spells I had ready. Mind you I have had no time to rememorize any other spells but the ones I had from the previous day, so I was a tad worried. I then thought that since I was low on spells that I should absorb the Alarm I put on the door just in case I need to use my spellfire. I did manage to get the spell without anyone knowing what I did. Just as I was pondering this dilemma with spells, Seraphim went to the door and kicked it in! Holly Mystra that woman was strong! She went right over to the solid oak door and kicked it in with such force that it hit something on the other side and closed again. She then calmly told me there was an Orc on the other side. I then came up with a brilliant plan. I was going to have Seraphim open the door and then I would shot some magic missiles out to the invading Orc, Seraphim decided not to bother with her armor of full plate and just go for it ( I thought better of this and cast Mage Armor on her). It was a great plan. However the guys in the other room across the hall thought it would be great to kill the damned thing before I could show off!

With the “THUD” of the Orc body on the other side of the door Seraphim opened the door and stepped out leaving me and Elia (who was busy getting her armor and what not on, man dose it pay to not need such things.) in the room with only the candle light. I took the candle from the room’s table and turn to go out the door when I looked down and saw the first dead thing hacked into horrible pieces. (I am going to state here and now there is a reason I skip Necromancy class! I HATE DEAD THINGS!) So I lost my dinner and everything else in my stomach on the dead mangled thing. Of course I had to do this right in front of Keiji (the fighter type that is compensating with his overly big sword.) So I looked pathetic in front of him and everyone from that room and mine. I was so bad I was dizzy for a bit after such.

When I gathered myself and stepped over the dead thing. I could hear sounds of battle in the main room. As I walked down the hall I noticed the main room was lit by a strange blue light. I saw the “Ranger” at the door way between the rooms and the main room shooting his bow I am not sure if he actually hit anything. I stayed back there and noticed that Keiji had run into battle without properly donning his armor. It was kind of around his neck and just left there. He had gotten into battle with two Orcs at once. I knew that if I didn’t do something he was going to be dead soon and I had nothing left to heave out of my stomach so I shot some Magic Missiles his way to an Orc to help. Just then Seraphim thwacked one and he went down. That’s when I noticed that the Nethril Man was just standing in the mist of orc bodies looking at another Orc that was on Keiji, and giving off a strange blue light. Why he was only looking why was he not fighting!? They were going to kill him and do Gods know what with that pretty boy body! However a battle with a different orc came into view and I was not sure if just a missile would do the job so I went out and burned it with my favorite spell “Burning Hands”, I killed it! I actually killed it all by myself! I had heard stories of battles from the guards in town about how awful these beasts were; however smelling a burning Orc body made me almost lose what was left in my body. Good thing the battle was just about over because I am not sure how much more I could have taken. That’s when I found out that Keiji had gone down and the Nithril Man had taken an Orc prisoner and Seraphim was trying to patch up Keiji. Oh my God is he going to die!? No, this is not right! The good guys always live and they joke around a fire about how the battle went! This was not right! I was in shock and was unable to move for a while. What brought me back was catching that Nithril Man let the damn vile Orc go! How in the nine hells do you just let an Orc that would have just cut you down go?! I protested and screamed at him for what he did and all he would say was “I told him I would let him go, and why should I kill him?” Oh that made me so mad. That’s when Elia and Trevis came out with armor and weapons ready for a fight. Sorry guys we got it, you’re a tad late to the party.

I helped Seraphim get Keiji into our room. Then I grabbed Bale’s box and got dressed. Keiji was still not awake. How I wanted to help, but I know nothing of healing and was better to help the town. When I got back to the main room the bodies of the dead orcs were in a pile and everyone was tending to wounds or talking. I went over to Elia and waited for a plan. This is when Trevis said we needed to secure the fort, and then Elia stated we should go save our employer. Now I am young and not been out of Silverymoon long, however we had to make a decision and everyone was standing around arguing for this or that plan and what we should do. That’s when I decided that we could do better if half of us went one way and the other half the other way. I asked Bel (Tiefling) if he and Demi (small pixie, not seen in battle.) would go with Trevis and secure the fort. He actually agreed. I thought “maybe he is not as bad a guy as I thought”. I would later retract said statement. Elia then enlisted the help of Nithril Man. So I would go with her to Mr.Stonebraces Mill.

We had a plan and I had a few spells left and with two of our company left behind to mend up in the inn, I was a tad worried and my spirit was low. However no mage should think of such things in the mist of battle. We must keep a clear mind and calm thoughts at all times. This was hard since this would be my first major battle. When we stepped out of the inns doors there was fighting and dying everywhere. Town’s people were fighting for their very lives and the sound of battle was in every direction. How did this happen? Wasn’t there a watch on hand? Didn’t they have guards? I mean this is the wild Silvery Marches and not some tame land that you can let ones guard down for a moment! Why were all these nice innocent people being hurt? What did they do to deserve any of this? I will avenge these people down to the last Commoner! They do not have Mystra’s power coursing through their veins to protect them, so I will save them, I will defend them! We all broke off in our groups and headed in opposite directions. As my group made its way north, the Nithril man( Hence forth named Nith) saved a Half-Orc lady who followed us to Mr.Stonebrace’s Mill. We only fought off a few Orcs to get to the Mill. However there was death everywhere. When we made it to Stonebrace mill we first heard a chicken then saw a ball of feather and fire hit Stonebrace Mill. That’s when we saw the make shift sling shot and some goblins. They were slinging chickens that they set on fire at the mill. Ok so I am not a bad person but this was slightly amusing. However that meant that they had grease and fire near. That meant I could use one of my most powerful spells to hit them hard and fast. You see I always liked fire spells they have so many uses. So I could stay out of sight and hit them with fire! That is when Nith went up and asked them to surrender… I think this is going to be an ongoing thing with him.

I cast my spell, and hit the grease create! My aim was dead on and it burst into flame! Killing one goblin! Yes now if I could just move it towards the rest without hurting Nith. As I thought of this the goblins sent a flaming chicken at Nith, this is when Nith smacked the flaming poultry with his huge sword! “SMACK”! Hit it to the left right into the grease create that I had set on fire! It spilled and the flames grew! (If it wasn’t so horrible to the livestock I think we should invent such a game!) I then moved the ball of flames my way and killed yet another goblin. Nith went up to the Orc in charge and battled with him. I noticed that the Orc casts a fear spell…. Damn Necromancy spell! I shouted to Nith that the Orc tried to cast Fear on him and he chopped the Orc in half! The goblins noticing that their leader was dead ran for the hills! Nith walked up to Elia and I thought it would be ok to Absorbed the fire spell if anyone asked I would just say that’s how I dispel, I didn’t have many more spells up my sleeve and needed energy incase I had to use my Spellfire. That’s when Nith noticed me. He said something strange “You shouldn’t do that” almost like he knew that was not the right way to dispel magic. I guess being from the era of great magic he must have picked up some knowledge of the Arcane.

Mr.Stonebrace came out and talked to Elia and we all decided to go to the fort and help the others. We told Stonebrace to hide in his basement. He did ask for someone to stay behind and when the nice Half-orc said she would he decide to change his mind. Now I am no fan of Orcs but half bloods did not choose to be such and should not be hated because of their nature. But that is for a different time. We passed the inn or more like the remains of the inn on our way to the Fort. It was burnt down! All of it gone! At the time I felt sick, what about Keiji and Seraphim did they get out? Did the orcs do this? Oh Gods tell me no one died in the fire! We made it to the fort by flat out running. When we got there, there was a huge ugly Ogre! At closer inspection I do believe it was a Zombie Ogre! That thing was disgusting! Again my hatred for Necromancy! The mage must have been killed before we got there. I called for another Sphere of Fire to burn the Ogre. Also at the same time the “Ranger” shot an arrow that went right through the monster and in a house, then out the window and hit Elia straight in the head. Luckily the masks she always wares saved her from death. If that damned demon killed her I would rip him apart! She is my only friend and I will not let anyone hurt her! I almost lost my spell because of the distraction! However due to my training I have great concentration. The battle came to a close with the ranger killing the thing! I had my gold on Nith winning this one.


With the town clear of invading Orcs and other monsters, it was time to start picking up the pieces. I later found out that Bel set the Inn on fire, this was told to me by a wimpering Trevis. I lost everything in the fire but my spell book, scroll case, Bale’s box, and the clothes I was wearing! The College robes with my token to get back into the school and library were gone too! Oh I was so in trouble when I get back. I even lost my silver mirror that was my mothers, the only thing that I had of her. He was going to pay for this!

I found out that Keiji and Seraphim did make it out of the inn and were safe. Seraphim went straight to work on healing the town’s folk that were injured in the battle. I helped with my last spell I had, Unseen servant. I love this spell for the fact I don’t need to life heavy things anymore. I helped put out the fire and pick up debris. This is when Demi comes out of no were and starts taking stuff from everyone dead (this included the dead guards). I stopped her and explained why it was bad to take from the dead guards, she agreed not to take from these guards and I was happy with that. I even gave her a gold piece for being good. This however did not stop her from flying around and noticing something very shinny on a guard.

She had come to me with this shinny thing that was silver and had a polished black center, and said she found a dead guard out on the edge of town and he had arrows in his back. With this I asked her to take me to him. We arrived slightly at the outskirts of town and there indeed was a human guard on his face with arrows coming from his back. It seemed to me that he was shot from someone other than the invaders. The invaders only used javelins and melee weapons no arrows. The thought did come to mind that Bel miss shot a few arrows, but still why was this man out here. I checked the necklace for any arcane marks or magic, there was none. I did have the fore thought to have Fretter take a picture of the dead man, this was highly disgusting and now Fretter thinks I have a thing for dead men. What didn’t help matter was the need to see the man’s face. Demi was far too small to turn him around so I had to do it. I am glad I posses a strong Fortitude. I got the guy turned around to take yet another picture of the man’s face. Oh this was making me sick (I really hate ex-living things.) Yet again Fretter made a comment on how I was being odd with the need of pictures of the same dead man. I had yet another fore thought to try and get an arrow from the man, but due to my weak stomach and weaker arms was unable to get one.

I returned to town after sending Demi to find a cleric to see if it was any holy item. Gods she can fly fast! I only have two legs so learning the fly spell will be next on my list. I met up with her talking to a rather gruff looking man in the garb of Tempest. I only encountered one Tempest priest before and he was more stuck up then the sorcerers. This guy was no exception. We showed him the necklace and he said it looked like a Shar disk. Are you kidding me Shar! Ok so I showed him the man’s face that had this item and he couldn’t tell me who he was and got all upset that I even thought one of these stupid guards would run for the hills. They are only men and when they see their town slaughtered they run! So we were directed to the Captain of the Guard. I thought he might be like the Captain back home. He is a real sweet man and always says hi to me. No, he was not and he got all upset when I said the same thing to him. Just as I was talking to him another fellow with a bow and some arrows that looked like the ones in the dead man’s back came over and whispered something into the Captain’s ear. That change his tune, he came back and asked us not to say anything to anyone about this. I didn’t like this at all. I went straight to Elia who has more world experience than I do to tell her about what we found.

We got to Elia about the time Bel did. I really haven’t been keeping too much tabs on him though I should since he owes me a lot of stuff. Demi and I told Elia what we found out and what we were told. I did give Demi a silver not to steal from the deserter’s body. Elia thought that there may have been someone on the inside helping. She also repeated what one of the Orcs said to Nith before Nith let them go. “The Pale lady is helping us.” I am not sure what that means or how it fits, but it takes two to lower the bridge into the fort so we all know there is someone else in town that may be against us. Elia told us we should talk to Nith and his prisoner, and to not speak about this to anyone else. We can’t trust any other people until we find the other turn coat.

We found Nith in the general goods shop fixing it far beyond its original splendor. We could use his ability in Silverymoon. We asked for him to come down once again realizing we had not learned his name. Elia changed masks. This one was a blue and very nice. She and Nith talked to the Orc. I understood most of what they were saying though Elia said a few words I could not get. I am sure if I did I would be red in the face. They found out that some “Pale Lady” said that they would be helped into raiding Newfort and that they thought that a cave nearby, which Bel told us is where the Orcs went, was to be their base of operations. They found out some other being had taken up residence in there and higher them to raid Newfort. So he had no idea whom the other turn coat was and no idea who this lady may be. That is when Nith gave him a slip of paper and said he would release the damned creature when it was safer! At that moment the Tiefling and I both agreed to try and kill that damned thing anyway possible. With Nith watching that thing all the time it will be hard.

I did take the opportunity to do some mild shopping though the store clerk, which was the Half-Orc from earlier, said she would need some time in getting any of it. So I placed my order and she kept eyeing me with this odd look in her eye. I asked Elia at which place to have the things delivered. Elia had them delivered to Stonebraces place of ordering. I also found out that we were to stay with Mr.Stonebrace. Since the Inn was no more than a pile of ash now. I sure hope that Belial does not feel the need to make Mr.Stonebrace’s Mill into ash as well. (Note to self: leave all new belongings far away from where we sleep.)

At sometime Belial had gone through the ashes that was the Inn and found what may have been my mother’s mirror. However it was a twisted mess of metal and other things. Nith did ask for it and said he would try and fix it. It would be wonderful to have my mother’s mirror back again. But I hold no expectations. And maybe Belial can stop hearing about how unhappy I am for now.

On our way to the mill Elia and I got to talking about the town and its history. I found out it was a newly settled town that a few of the ex-Zentarim decided to come to. I found out that the Half-Orc lady was one such person and Trevis of the ex-Inn was as well. I also found out that they may still be operating for the Zhents and that gave me an uneasy feeling about the half-orc. She saw me absorb the spell and I am not sure how much she believes I just dispelled it.

We all arrived at The Stonebrace Mill around 3am and by now the adrenaline had come off and I was tired. We were led in by Mr.Stonebrace himself. Elia did most of the talking; I just asked were the points of entry were on the house. I decided to put my last scroll of alarm on the back door. While Elia and Stonebrace talked I found something to amuse myself. I let Demi go into Fretter’s house (the box) to see him! Oh this was far too much fun! He did manage to identify the pendent as a Shar holy symbol as well. He even humored Demi and painted a portrait of her! He was not happy with me, he is the loner type. I thought after such eventful night and not wanting to lose Demi in the house or the house losing stuff, I would send her in there for the night. After finding the lady of the house and asking for a wash basin. I cleaned myself up and went to find a cot to find some sleep in. Lets hope tomorrow holds a little less death.

Cat People

Following the attack on the bar, we decided to head out and protect the town. Cagey was out cold and our cleric stayed behind to make sure the monkey didn’t finish him off. I grabbed my stuff and met up with the rest of the non-lazy members of the party. Masky split up the party thusly: Blondy, Bender, and herself would go north to make sure the guy paying us wasn’t dead. The barkeep, Demi, and Myself would go another direction to clear out the guard tower or someplace. Look, I was pretty out of it at this point, I just followed everyone else’s lead.

We stepped outside to find ourselves surrounded by orcs on all sides. Masky’s group headed out while I took shots… at the orcs. They dropped pretty easily, except for this one motherfucker who I couldn’t make a spot check on to save my life. We split up and I found myself faced by two angry orcs. I let loose two arrows with every single ounce of my skill. They sliced open the necks of the foul smelling duo, continued through a nearby fire, bounced off a nearby wall, and landed on the inn and the general store, setting them ablaze.

The barkeep was in shock after witnessing my incredible swag. After he collected himself, we got buckets to help put out the fire. I made sure to let my teammates know they were in danger by alerting them in an efficient and caring manner.

Bel poked his head in the inn’s door. “SHIT’S ON FIRE, YO.”

Following that, I took the job of climbing the side of the inn because the barkeep had the upper body strength of a noodle person with ED. Two buckets of water just about put the fire out, but there was still a little left. I thought back to the advice my grandfather gave me when I was little:

“Bel, if at any point in your life you want to put out a fire, just piss on it. Nothing shows fire who’s the boss like piss.”

Powerful words. I unfastened my pants and let loose my stream of justice. While writing my name in mid-air, I remembered the other bit of advice Grandfather gave me:

“Of course, if you ever become an alcoholic like your father or me, don’t do that because you’ll probably blow some shit up.”



I was blasted off the room midstream, sending fire and pee everywhere. The blaze grew bigger and seemed to flip me the bird. I swear I heard “I’m a beautiful strong bar fire who don’t need no piss” in the crackling of the flames. No, wait, that’s the blood rushing out of my ears.

As I lie there looking at the night sky, covered in soot and soaked with my own urine, I wondered exactly what sort of god would allow something like this to happen. Surely some celestial being up in the sky who wasn’t busy shitting their pants laughing at my drunken antics would realize that “Hey, maybe giving the Tiefling flammable urine was a bad idea.” And maybe Half Life 3 will be released.

I got up, put my pants back on correctly, and ran to the entrance to make sure the two got out alright. They did, but the cleric was pissed furious with me. I tried to talk with her, but she was too busy yelling and trying to smite me for me to give any sort of shit of what she was saying back to me. Honestly, it was like she wasn’t even there except by proxy.

I decided that it may be in our best interest to get some supplies from the inn before it burned down completely. Once again, I tried to initiate conversation between me and my party members, but they were off being wimps.

“Hey, I’m going to grab some stuff from the bar before it completely burns down, you want anything? Where are you guys runni-”


The inn exploded, sending me flying backwards into another building. How rucky that that was there. I looked around to see if everyone else made it okay. Oh hey, looks like the fire on the store got the spot check guy. Sweet.

I wasn’t feeling too hot at the moment, having just survived two explosions at point blank range, a fall, getting attacked by an angry orc barbarian, and getting a little bit of pee on my pants. So I asked the cleric to do her job.

The cleric turned redder than me in absolute rage as she healed me, then punched me in the face. What a bitch, last time I tell her to get out of the building after I set it on fire. Jesus.

I used the buckets and a nearby horse trough to put out the store’s fire quickly and efficiently. I don’t see why everyone else is staring at me in such shock, it’s not like there was anything important in the inn.

Demi, Barkeep, and I all ran over to the guard’s club place… thing? I wasn’t too clear on that. While Demi took a look inside in an attempt to lower the drawbridge and let us in, I shot the shit with the barkeep. He looked like he could use a friend.

“Hey buddy, I saw your inn burned down. You doing okay?”
“Look man, I’m real sorry. It usually only burns me when I pee.”
“dot dot dot”
“Come on, two people have to talk in order to have a conversation and you’re not doing a very good job on your end.”
"" He didn’t give me an ellipses.
“Fine. Be antisocial.”

The drawbridge fell revealing a big courtyard. I ran into battle and tripped on a banana peel, sending me tumbling into the ass of a zombie ogre.

WAH! What are we going to do on the ogre?” POMF =3

Oh great, my horns are stuck.

I struggled to detach myself and managed to pull my head out of his rectum partially, but not before vomiting in it. Maybe I should cut down on my drinking. My brief moment of introspection gave me a better idea: MORE BOOZE. I grabbed my waterskin and my bottle of scumble out of my satchel.

Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with scumble, allow me to learn all over your ass. Scumble is a very potent form of cider that is usually drunk by the thimbleful. It’s strong enough to clean spoons and should not be put in metal containers or be allowed to come into contact with water. The recipe is a secret to most, but a certain sexy Tiefling managed to learn how to brew his own after winning a drinking contest with a witch. That’s a story for another time however, let’s get back to Bel Nye the Science Guy.

I uncorked the scumble bottle, took a giant swig, and splashed a little bit on the ogre’s putrid rotting nutsack. I then uncorked the waterskin and threw some water afterwards, jumping and digging into the ogre’s rotting fat piles with my legs. I didn’t want to be anywhere near that taint.


Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! The explosion knocked the ogre around and managed to dislodge my horns from his ass, getting me more back in the fight in general than just the fight between him and the Indian food I’m pretty sure I saw in there. He needs to chew better, I saw a whole Chieftain’s crown.

More to the point, the ogre was mostly focused on Barkeep, while Demi was off shooting the minions firing javelins at us. I yelled out to Demi to not help Barkeep. “He’s just an NPC and he’s doing a great job of diverting attention from the giant thing that wants to kill us. Go kill the guys firing at you and me.” I don’t remember if she followed through or not. I’ll assume not.

Barkeep ran off like a little bitch after taking a couple clubs to the head, so it was just me and the ogre. And Demi, but the ogre had no way of knowing she was there. Damn pixies, always turning invisible and shit, being useful in battle except for drawing fire.

I managed to dodge a couple swings from Shrek, but he managed to nail me with his giant club. Demi tossed me a potion as I kept showing him my best Archer imitation, but even Unlimited Bel Works wasn’t enough to put him down. Just then, the great being in the sky realized that maybe this encounter was a bit lopsided, so Bender and the rest of the Planet Express crew bothered to show up.

Our master of Weeaboo Fightin’ Magic lit his sword on fire and cut the ogre, causing the sickening smell of cauterized flesh and oil to fill the air. We need to really wash the robot. I fired a last arrow and it felled the beast, then continued in the air. Everyone stood and watched as it flew into one of the barracks. There were multiple crashes and then the arrow flew back out again and hit Masky in the face, knocking her on her Dom butt.

She was nice enough to give me my arrow back. While everyone else listened to the plot getting railroaded, I staggered around town, collecting gold, arrows, and any thing else that looked useful. As we were burning the orc bodies, we heard some screaming coming from the pit. A quick stream of justice silenced that. I also dug around the wreckage of the bar to see if there was any booze left. All I found was 30 gold and a twisted silver wreckage that I gave back to Fuzzy’s character so she’d stop complaining about how she lost everything.

At one point I found myself in the woods, were I found tracks and signs that the orcs had come from the mine. Why they put signs that said that I’ll never know. As I made my way back to fulfill what little ranger duties anyone ever expects of me, I ran into Demi who had found, surprise surprise, a shiny thing. I directed her to the cleric or Blondey.

I let the party know where the orcs came from and then joined them as we located Bender in the general store. I didn’t bother getting anything as there were no side flasks. The half orc in charge had a lady boner larger than Demi for the robot, so I was stuck listening to his instructions to not attempt to intoxicate his orc prisoner. For all of you reading this, I actually bothered using my 14 intelligence here: The goddamn robot wanted to let it go after he gave it better tactics for next time. I may be a drunk, but I’m not a retard.

On our way to Stonebrace’s place, I listened in on a conversation between Masky and Blondy because why the hell not let the comic relief character know the dark secrets behind the town. Once that was over, we arrived to a home which smelled strangely of fried chicken. Note to self, there may be drow in the area.

We were introduced to the barracks. I marked a bed as my quarry, charged it, did a triple salchow into a belly flop onto it, vomited to the side, and passed out.

Logs of the warforged

Log 001

Once again I have been awaked, though some thing is wrong. Those who awaked me seem to be commoners. How they gained possession of my container I’m not sure, one claims to have found it in an abandoned mine. They also claim that nethril has fallen this does not seem possible. I shall investigate this mine and hopefully find some answers.

Log 002

It seems there might be some truth to the commoners story. After wandering for quite some time I have been unable to reconnect with the magical guidance of nethril and the landscape is unfamiliar. It seems I will have to rely on the commoners that awoke me if I want to make it to the mine. Perhaps the guard that has been tailing has a map of the area or knows where they have gone too.


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